An Open Letter to the Democratic Nominee for President of the United States of America

            The personal attacks shown on the campaign trail remind me of elementary and high school bullies. Candidates who run for President of the United States of America should never engage in mocking, name-calling or personal attacks on one’s appearance. For instance, when a teacher stoops to the level of a child and engages in a back and forth, everybody loses. The adult should remain just that – an adult. 

            These attacks belong on a television entertainment network. They look and sound fictitious, and I cannot believe they are real and coming from a candidate for the U.S. presidency. Our forefathers are not just turning over in their graves but are raging in them. Where’s the diplomacy? What happened to respect? Where’s the maturity? It disgraces the candidates and sickens me. I believe they are pandering to American’s addiction to reality television, a phenomenon that has gained momentum as of late. This is not reality television. We are voting for the new leader of the United States of America, not watching reality TV.

            Whichever of you becomes the Democratic nominee, do not insult the intelligence of the American people by showing that you are better at “playing the dozens” or as the current saying goes, “throwing shade.” Do not, I repeat, do not fall for the desire to revert back to childish behavior when you are personally attacked or mocked. Stay above the fray. Maintain your dignity. You can win this election by speaking about the issues that face our country and your plan to solve them, not by mocking someone's thirst or insulting the way he wears his hair.

The Black Millennials: The New Revolutionaries Fighting the War on Our Heads

            Hair. Black Women. Say those words, and you will open a conversation the size of the universe. The truth of the matter is that we black women have always had a love-hate relationship with our hair. I know I have. This relationship was passed down from our mothers (bless their hearts) who received it from their mothers. I harbor no animosity or ill feelings about what they did. After all, they did their best to fit in and assimilate in a society to survive. Maybe they did it because they simply did not know how to care for their natural hair, and they felt they had more options by straightening it.  However, it is undeniable that there is a natural black hair movement happening right now.  

More and more, little by little, I see 20-somethings and 30-somethings wearing their natural hair. In schools, I see children of those Millennials wearing their natural hair. Puffs, braids, and twists abound among the students in elementary and high schools, and I love it.  It looks like freedom to me. Freedom from hot combs, dangerous chemicals, and too-tight braids. I have seen kindergarten children with extensions, and it saddens me because it puts the child at risk for hair loss, negates the love of her natural hair, and prevents her from getting to know it. Extensions, weaves, and relaxers offer versatility; however, they bind us in a never-ending cycle of debt and psychological prison. I know. I have spent thousands of dollars on relaxers since I was 14-years-old. My three daughters are prime examples of those stuck in this cycle.

One of my biggest regrets is allowing my then 13-year-old to get micro braids when she was a freshman in high school. She is now in her twenties, and is so dependent on OPH (other people’s hair) that she is uncomfortable without it. Ever. Unfortunately, sisters emulate each other, and now her two younger sisters are stuck in the same cycle. The good news is that we are having conversations about natural hair. Even better news is that I am the first in our family to go natural. It’s been nearly six months since I relaxed my hair – this from a person who faithfully relaxed every 6-8 weeks for decades. 

Does this mean I will not straighten my hair with a flat iron? Well, not yet, but I’m working on it. It does mean that I will no longer put the dangerous chemicals of a relaxer in my hair. Color? That’s another story – not quite ready to go gray yet. If it had not been for the influence of the natural black millennials, I would not have the courage to step out of the cycle. So, to you, I say, Thank you! 

Photo courtesy of Smiley Joy, my youngest daughter